xavier, get well soon! .. i miss ur usual self. i really do.. ..its been so long sinced i last blog, im back here today cos ive got losta feelings losta thoughts i dunno whom should i pour to..
26/04 xavier fell sick, cough and flu.. went to the doctor he recovered very quickly..
29/04 darlinggs birthday but i fell sick, got high fever.. can't even go to sch to pick him up.. sick for 4days .. seen doctor twice.. once at yishun , a clinic near my house but i hate that place cos i din have a very good impression of the clinic. xavier din get well after he saw her when he was younger.. and i din get better thou ive seen a doctor.. till today still feeling sick.. got cough, blocked nose and losta phlegm.. on the 4th, xavier caught my illness and he fell sick again.. fever this time round.. woke in the wee hours and ate medicine.. till late noon he din recover.. brought him dwn to bedok dr wee..
the first day, xavier din drink much milk.. to me its normal .. cos fever where got appetite.. but still i whipped up his favourite fishcake.. fried eggs, steamed fish and porridge.. but he din eat. he ate 2mouthful and told me 不要！！！it seems to be his 口头禅 nowadays. u will always hear him carrying this word with him.. at times it will be 我不要！..2nd day, his appetite got worst.. stoppped drinking milk.. drank only twice a day.. but still eating some food on and off but vomitted.. got worried.. let him eat cake, bread blahblah.. still can eat.. bought him glucose, he din like.. refused to drink..
today was the worst of all, he drank only 150OZ of milk the whole day!!! normally he can drink up to 330ml per feed!! which is standard he wakes he will ask for milk, b4 sch he will ask for milk, after sch milk again, thn eat some porridge, ard 330pm-4pm last feed of milk b4 he sleeps.. when he wakes he will ask for milk, than dinner and snack time till until 10+ he will sure ask for his beloved milk, and the last feed at bedtime. now??~!~ he DOESN't ask for milk at all!!! not even water.. even i eat in front of him, he won't even point or say he wants to eat mummum.
past few days, xavier kept throwing tantrums, he will scream NO!! at me when i ask him to eat or drink milk/water.. thn walk into the room, jump onto the bed.. ignore me.. when i walk in he will scream and say 不要！！！than once i leave the room he will keep quiet.. for 2 consequtive days, he cried himself to sleep.. b4 he slept, he hid himself in the room, weeping n whimpering away.. half drying his tears with his hands and the other rubbing his eyes.. it hurts me alot.. when i try to go near him to carry him, he will push me away.. it was definately heart wrenching.. i felt so helpless.. as his mummi i cannot do anything.. he din wan me to cheer him up, he din even wan his favourie baobao n bolster to accompany him to bed.. he just wasn't his usual self.. no giggles of xavier, no songs to listen, no busy yaking or dancing xavier anymore.. he just strolled around the house, grab his color pencils, doodle, than read his book, fling it away, play with his toys, than ds, than psp, than loiter around the house, on the tv, on the dvd.. but he was all quiet..
tomorrow ill be bringing him to kkh, i called in kkh just now, they advised to send him in tmr if he still doesn't feeds well.. i feel so sad.. cos once he go there, he gt to face needles, face strangers, face pain, face torture.. i mean, some docs n nurses there are like so fierce.. im realli afraid that xavier will get scared n frightened..but i have to , i HAVE TO!!! i've got to seek medical help!! i realli duno wad to do with him =(
he fell aslp at 1am just now, without drinking his milk, i only managed to force him to sip some water from his bottle .. and he rubbed his eyes.. told me 'good night mummi' and he went to slp.. in just 5mins, he dozed off.. i cried while i sat beside and spoke to him.. i told him ' darling boy, tomorrow do u want to go to the hospital? doctor will poke u with the needle to put u on drip if u still refuse to drink milk and eat mummum u know?' he merely said ' dun wan.. ' when prompted again, he said 我不要。。 hais. i realli dunno how ..
i'll be there, wherever you are.. i promise..Xavier, everyone is very worried about you.. get well soon.. thou mummi often chids u for being a noti boi but i love you!! i miss ur laughter, miss ur nonsense, miss ur lil big hugs, miss u jumping on the bed, miss u messing around my stuffs, miss u asking for london chocolate roll, miss u pestering me to go dwnstairs .. 我想念你的笑容，想念那个调皮的你。。
